My Story

So, I said in my last post that this blog was going to turn into a journal of sorts, full of my thoughts and what nots, so here we go- this post is a long one.. and it is very real.

I have been dealing with a lot lately- hence the not updated blog. I have been working a full time job as a nursing assistant in a memory care unit in Provo, I have been helping my family with all the crazy adventures we are riding together, I have been supporting my sweetheart on his mission in Iowa, I have been riding the wave of health ups and downs, the holidays have started, I have been struggling spiritually, and so much more. During all of this- the hardest thing for me has probably been the major ups and downs in my testimony of Jesus Christ and His restored Gospel in these the Latter Days. This has been the hardest thing for me since returning home early, and very unexpectedly from my LDS mission in January of 2016. It is so hard because everything else I do hinges on my belief in God. Everything I say, everything I do, the places I go- it all hinges on that belief in God.

Before my LDS mission I knew God was there. I knew He was real, He knew me, He had a personal plan for me, and I was His child. I knew He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to live and die for me. I knew Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God- and that he restored the true and living Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to the earth in the early 1800s. I knew the Book Of Mormon was translated by the power of God, by Joseph Smith- and I knew it was true. I knew the power of Temples, and the power of the Priesthood was real and worked miracles. I knew all of this before I left on my LDS mission- and I did everything I could to prepare to teach these truths to the people I was called to teach in Cleveland Ohio. (I left behind my scholarships and leadership positions that I had been longing for; and I took 5 religion classes- institute- in my efforts to prepare for this mission.) I knew it was all true- and I couldn't wait to teach it. Nothing was stopping me. I knew I had to serve this mission-because the Spirit told me.

Background story- I never wanted to serve an LDS mission earlier in my life; until suddenly one night as I was praying and reading the scriptures, I heard the Spirit tell me I needed to go on a mission, and I needed to do everything I could to prepare for one. (I thought "funny joke" and tried to move on, but after nights of having the same thoughts and feelings- that would not leave me alone, even when I wasn't praying or studying; I fasted and prayed and I knew it wasn't a joke and it was time to take it seriously.) This was in December of 2014- I dropped the news to my parents in January 2015, and I started preparing to serve. I graduated from high school in May 2015, started my mission papers in late July 2015, submitted them in late September 2015, got my call in early October 2015, and left in January of 2016. Keep this in mind as you finish reading- I NEVER would have ventured on this journey if it wasn't for those nights in December 2014 that told me "Samantha, I NEED YOU to serve a full time mission for me." I trusted my Heavenly Father (God) and so that is why I was going. That is why I left everything else behind and followed Him.

Okay back to the main story- on January 5, 2016 I was set apart as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I left the next afternoon to the Provo Missionary Training Center to begin my Mission. I was so full of emotions- emotions I never knew I could feel. This was the hardest thing I had ever done- but I was going because Heavenly Father needed me to go. I left my family, my friends, my boyfriend, my job, my schooling, everything I had known to that point; I was excited and sacred. All my work had paid off and I was here. I was His missionary. I was following Him.

I had the best companion- she was so sweet, kind, patient, and Christlike, and most of all she was my friend. I had the best District. We all quickly became the best of friends. But things didn't go like I thought they would. Being a missionary wasn't everything it was cracked up to be- at least for me it wasn't. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't go to the bathroom, I couldn't focus on anything, and I was constantly crying and shaking. I was SICK. What was wrong with me?

The Sisters in my district knew something was wrong- things just weren't right. One night as we were praying I suddenly felt like I needed to go home. "What the heck?? No way! I've worked so hard to get here and I thought You, Heavenly Father, NEEDED me here!" I took my thought of going home as just a minor home sickness thing.. but it only got worse. I told the sister and elders about my thoughts of going home, they all thought I was homesick too, so they all prayed for me and the Elders gave me a blessing- but it just got worse.. The Sisters told me it was time to visit our Mission President. After visiting with him, we called my parents.. I told them I felt like I needed to come home- they said "I think Satan is trying to take an amazing missionary out. We will pray for you, and it will all be okay. Get a blessing." So I did. The Elders gave me the most beautiful blessing I could have asked for at that moment. But I knew in my heart things weren't going to go like I wished. I knew I was sick- but I told myself I wasn't letting that stop me. I told my companion that we were going to work hard and that I wasn't going home. I was here to stay! So we got back to it.

We were sitting in class, it was personal study time, I was reading the Book Of Mormon preparing a lesson for our investigator that afternoon. Suddenly as I was writing in my journal about my decision to stay, something came over me. I looked at my companion, "I've got to get out of here. I don't feel well." I got up and ran out; she followed me into the empty room next door. I couldn't breathe, I was shaking tremendously, and I was sobbing uncontrollably. My companion looked at me and said "Sister Stout, we have to get you to President." I have no idea how she got me there, but she did. By some miracle President felt impressed to come look for me at the same time this was all happening, so I guess he met us on the way to his office- although I don't remember when or where or how that all took place. President saw me and said "This is worse than I thought." He rushed my companion and I to his office, and tried talking to me. Honestly all I remember is that I was shaking so badly he got on the phone with my parents, and asked them if I had experienced seizures before because he wasn't sure if I was having one or not. (This is what my parents have told me- as I do not remember this.) They told president to put me on to see if they could calm me- which they did after what felt like forever. I don't even know if I said anything, I don't know what they said, but it calmed me down enough so they could talk to president again about the situation. After they hung up- president looked at me and said "Sister Stout, you're going home." I'm not sure what my response was- but I know I wasn't happy. I had decided I was staying. Heavenly Father needed me here- and I wasn't leaving. President explained that what I had just experienced was a full blown Anxiety driven Panic Attack, and that I needed medical attention so that my health didn't worsen.

It was a Sunday night, and in order to release me with a medical release they needed me to be evaluated by their psychologist so that I could receive counseling from the church, I needed to wait till the morning to go home. The next day I met with the Dr. and he confirmed that I was indeed in a full state of "Fight or Flight" and that my health was worsening by the minute because my body couldn't respond in a normal state. I needed to go home. They confirmed with my parents, and set up my departure for 4pm that evening. I had enough time to pack my things, teach an investigator my last lesson, and say goodbye to my mission.

I was standing in the hall by president's office with all the Sisters in my District, when I saw them turn the corner. I was overwhelmed by my first wave of "your such a disappointment" feeling. My parents were crying, and I wasn't sure why. (I know now that it was because they could see that I wasn't the same person that they had dropped off, and I was sick, and they had no idea how to help me.) We hugged, they met the Sisters and thanked them for caring for me, then we exchanged final hugs and they left. I got in the car, to endure the next step of this mission- little did I know that the hardest 2 years of my life was just beginning.

Since I made the decision to serve an LDS mission, I had dreamed of the "welcome home" at the airport, with balloons, everyone I loved, signs, hugs, tears, lots of joy, and wonderful reunions.. little did I know that my missionary "welcome home" would be much, much different; no balloons, no signs, tears- but anything but joyous tears- hugs of breaking hearts, and much, much too soon..
It was January 12, 2016- my dad's birthday- and just 6 days since I had left.. I would be released the following evening- making my missionary service in full- 1 week.

The days to come were horrid for me. I have never wanted to be invisible so badly before in my whole life. From family members coming to check on me, to neighbors, to my sweetheart, to friends, and many others- I felt like such a disappointment to the world.. but I also felt so much love from these people that jumped in to come see me and see what they could do- which wasn't much- but none the less- I want to say thank you for trying. I know it was hard, awkward, and uncomfortable- but I will forever be grateful for those of you that made an effort to help me and my family- especially when I couldn't help myself.

My parents wrote a letter that they put on Facebook to announce my unexpected homecoming and to ask people to give me some space and not judge me- and to make sure they knew I was released honorably for a medical condition. This letter was read in church that Sunday- and I have never felt so many eyes, I've never heard so many whispers, never felt so much judgement. *I know now there was a lot less of that than I thought- but my anxiety wasn't about to let me believe such at the time.* My long journey was just beginning.

In the weeks and months to come, I had to figure out how to put my life back together piece by piece. I was literally starting all over. And to make it worse, for the first time ever I didn't know how to talk to people and they were scared to talk to me for fear of setting off a panic attack- which just made me feel even worse that they felt they had to treat me like I was so fragile. (Which I was.) I had counseling appointments weekly, I had to have blood tests run, I had Doctor appointments of all kinds for months, and I had endless questions for myself and God.

Let's be real for a minute- I was a mess. Ask my mom. She was with me the whole way- and is still taking me to doctor appointments and such. I was mad too. Mad at myself for failing, and mad at God for making me go on this mission I didn't even want just to sent me right back home. Mad isn't the right word... I was furious.

I almost stopped going to church- thank you mom for making me go- you knew what I needed more than I did.

I have felt so many emotions in the last 2 years. I was mad at God, jealous at all my friends- including my boyfriend- who were serving successful full time missions without much of a problem, I was defeated, I was lost, I was confused, I was in pain- literally and spiritually, I was pretty much everything you can think of except for happy.

I eventually stopped going to counseling- thinking that they could never do anything for me, because I was still mad. I was refusing all help. I was going to do this alone. Which at the time- thank heavens I did do it alone- because looking back, I needed to figure out that I simply couldn't. I needed to know for myself that all that stuff I talked about at the beginning of this long story- all that stuff that I "knew I knew"- I needed to know that it was still real, that it was still true- no matter what I was facing. And let me tell you- that, that was a hard road to walk. Being completely alone.. at least so I thought at the time. *I have never felt so alone, so abandoned, so devastated before in my life. But I wouldn't change it- I needed it. It is all a part of the plan.*

One day, well- over the course of a few days- I decided that even though I was starting to get my life together on a worldly level- I had gotten a job I was dreaming of, I was starting to plan things again, etc. I realized that if I didn't get my spiritual life together, and soon, that I was going to be in a world of hurt all over again- and I would never really "heal." I realized this- but I didn't act on it- because I was letting my anxiety control me- I had a major fear, still sort of do- that if I allowed myself to become overcome with things of the Spirit again- I would "fail" again, and my anxiety would worsen. *Silly I know- but that is what anxiety does to you.*

However, I did start seeing a therapist of sorts, although he doesn't like to be called such- I'll call him my Positive Living Coach. (If you need someone who will help you turn your life around, and help you live more positively- ask me about him- he is amazing!) Because of him, I finally started to listen to those impressions I was having to make differences in my life; I was finally realizing that what happened had nothing to do with the spiritual aspect of things, but rather the events around that. I started to believe that I could be who Heavenly Father wanted me to be- and that everything that happened- was a part of His perfect plan for me. That I was in fact supposed to go on that mission- I was NEEDED on that mission- because Heavenly Father needed to give me this experience so I could come to Him, trust Him, and do His will. It's all a part of the Plan.

Here I am 2 years later- and what I have learned is that I have Anxiety, Depression, and Migraines. (I honestly don't remember the last time I didn't have head pain.) I am still seeing doctors, I am still learning how to best treat these conditions. I have been on and off so many different medications, and tried so many different methods of healing- and quite honestly- none of them are working completely. Some doctors have told me it will just take time, because my body had such a major "Fight or Flight" reaction- that I could possibly be dealing with some PTSD as well. I still have problem days, and I know I will continue to have them. I will still have my days where my anxiety is high for some reason I may not even know, and you may say something or do something, or maybe nothing will happen at all- but suddenly I am up, and running to excuse myself from the situation before it gets unbearable. Please do not take this to offense. My anxiety and depression is not something I can always control. I do my best, but it is a mental health condition and there is no definitive answer to it. So please be patient, be kind, and try to understand- I am still learning too. There are still so many unanswered questions, there are still so many things I wish I knew, and things I wish I didn't have to deal with- but I have to remind myself that Heavenly Father has a plan, a perfect plan for me, and "things will work out."

Now that you know all of that- let me just say to you- and I don't care who you are, where you live, what you do, or anything- what I am about to say applies to every single person that has lived, ever will live and is alive right now.
If I have learned anything from this experience it is this- YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD AND HE KNOWS YOU AND LOVES YOUR PERSONALLY. HE HAS A PERFECT PLAN FOR YOU. NOTHING YOU HAVE DONE OR EVER WILL DO WILL CHANGE YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER'S INFINITE AND PERFECT LOVE FOR YOU. YOU ARE HIS, AND HE CARES ABOUT EVEN YOU.

Life is hard, I know that first hand. And I know I haven't experienced all the things in the world- I am no where near that- but I promise you, that the statement I just shared is true. I know that He will not leave you helpless, abandoned or alone. Yes, it may feel like He has, but I promise you that the Savior of the World knows you, loves you, and is waiting with open arms for you to open your door and let Him in. I know sometimes it does take time- trust me I've been there. I know that sometimes you do need to walk that path alone for a bit to discover that you do in fact need HIM. *If you have family member or friend who is struggling- please realize this truth- they need time too- God has perfect timing, even if you can't see it- you need to trust God too. Love them, and give them the time and space they need to find Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Let them turn to their Savior. All you need to do- and the best thing you can do is accept them as they are and LOVE them. Trust me it works a lot better than other methods- and remember it takes TIME. Sometimes a LOT of it too.* No matter how long you need to walk that path, please please- let Him in, because only you can let Him in your life.

Bottom line- it's a journey, this whole life is. Sometimes we think we have it all planned out- we're going places, we think things are perfect- but God "cuts up down" unexpectedly; even when we are following His plan; to remind us of a simple truth as He says: "I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be." So trust Him. You are becoming beautiful because God doesn't make mistakes. You are a masterpiece in the making. There will always be rough patches- I can promise you that, but the Savior of the world, and our Heavenly Father have a perfect plan for you, and "things will work out." I promise. This life is worth the fight, it's worth the journey. Life's a climb, but the view's great. So keep on climbing.

Love,
Samantha <3

Thoughts

Hey yall! So I've been thinking lately of things I want to share on here; and I've decided it may become somewhat of a "journal"- my thoughts of life. So beware ;)

Today I was able to attend a homecoming for a sister I went to the MTC with. For those of you who know my mission story- you know I only went to the MTC before becoming too ill to stay- so attending this homecoming was something I felt I needed to do to maybe gain some closure on my own serving a mission; after all- I would have come home with her had I stayed the whole mission. Needless to say- I'm glad I went; Sister Anderson said some very moving things to me; and while that is not what I am going to say now- I do want to share a video I found while looking through LDS.org today.
Watch Video HERE
This video made me think about all the people who have carried me- spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. I was overcome with the love of the Savior; that He sent angels to carry me through the times I could not walk on my own- because He loves me and He was the one who ultimately carried me. So if you have been a part of my journey- especially these last 18 months, I need to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. You didn't give up on me. You didn't walk away or leave me alone- but you did what you could do to carry me in the ways you could offer- and for that I will forever be grateful for you; and that you acted on the call to serve in place of the Savior. I love you.
Love, Samantha <3

Well, it's been a while..

Life is hard. Period. No matter where we are, who we are with, what our circumstances: life is not easy. It wasn't meant to be. We are here to learn to be like the Savior, and the more I learn about His life, the more I understand why my life is no walk in the park either.

Lately I have been struggling- with everything. Work, waiting for my missionary, friends, self-esteem, helping others, studying the gospel, etc. For some reason I feel my depression is increasing and I'm not sure why.. I've been diagnosed with A-Typical Migraines, anxiety, and depression; so I've been taking meds for it, and it's helping the migraines but I'm worried it's making the depression worse. I just feel so fatigued, useless, and unmotivated. Things just seem so difficult, more than usual. 

As I talked to Jordan today I just felt even worse. The poor guy, I let him have it all, it's like word vomit- and I just threw it all at him, and he graciously just read, and responded with love, patience, and the Spirit. That boy <3 I am so thankful he loves me still, I love him more and more every day. I honestly have no idea how he does everything he does. He's a miracle I tell ya- a living miracle.  

Jord kindly reminded me that I am not alone- he sent me video and talk links for me to view when I feel I can. He told me about tender mercies and he helped me to calm down. He's always so patient with me. If I were him I'd kick my own butt and tell myself to knock it off, but he never even gets close to that attitude. Miracles. How did I get so blessed? 

Since being home, I've learned a lot about being human. I make mistakes, I'm far from perfect; and I feel lost- a lot. For a while there I quit reading my scriptures, I quit praying. I almost quit going to church, and I asked to work on Sunday mornings- I said "it's not a big deal" but it was. I slowly was allowing myself to forget the miracles of this Gospel. I slowly stopped answering promptings and just doing my own thing. I even found excuses to not attend my weekly shift at the temple.. 

One day, I was having a particularly difficult time. And I was mad at Jesus. I was so mad. "Why are you doing this to me? Why do I hate myself? Why am I not the girl I once was? Why don't people like me? Why am I always in pain? Why, why why..?" I locked myself in my room and just cried. I kept looking at social media hoping I'd find something there- people the chances of social media actually leading you to worthy and fulfilling places.. not so likely... Don't get me wrong, it could happen, but it's not too likely. Anywho, finally I threw my phone across the room and just laid on my bed crying. For some reason I felt very compelled to pray. Jordan, being aware of my struggles, had asked me to try praying again during that week. "Just say an informal prayer if that's all you can do. Just try." I said I would, but I secretly wasn't going too- until I found my bawling on my bed and feeling the need to pray. So I did... 

I probably said the most informal prayer I'd said up to this point in my life.. Not gonna like- it didn't feel like a prayer it felt like I was yelling at God. Then through my fit of yelling and being determined not to listen to anything I threw my head back and looked up. In the process my eyes caught the picture I received for my birthday of Christ praying. For some reason it crossed my mind that "He's praying for you right now." I quit talking for a minute and just sobbed, thinking of the process of the Atonement of Christ. I knew Christ prayed, and that He still does pray for us. But I had gotten this picture because it felt more personal than any of the other pictures I had of Him praying- so I asked myself "Why?" Because he isn't just praying to check it off His 'to do list', He's pleading for us. 

I finally knelt by my bedside for what felt like the first time in ages. I took a deep breath and before I could even form the words "I'm sorry Father" I cried. And I just let myself cry, while I gave Heavenly Father my heart. I just let Him work with my broken heart. "Take my heart, oh take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above." 

I fell asleep in this process. Upon waking up only a 15 minutes later I felt different. I felt a burden lifted. I felt like running, running to the temple, to His home, to be with Him. But I felt a warm calmness. As I realized "It's okay. I love you. Don't give up. It will not be easy. But I will not leave you if you do not leave me. Just keep trying." I promised myself right then and there that I would not stop trying to be like Him. It's a guarantee I will mess up again. I know I will, in fact I have since then. But, the one thing that stays different: I keep reading my scriptures, I keep praying.

Sometimes it's just 1 simple verse, one sentence or even 1 small word in the scriptures. Sometimes my prayers are as simple as "Heavenly Father, I love you. Amen" I just simply do what I can, breathe, and ask Heavenly Father to allow Christ to make up my difference. And I'm comforted to know "He already has."   

No, it wasn't a voice, no it wasn't in the scriptures, no it wasn't anything 'exciting'. It was a realization led by God. He just opened my eyes because I allowed Him into my heart again. 

Notice I said "again". Not only have I let Him in before, I pushed Him out too. More than once since I've been home from my mission- in only 19 short months. But this time, this time I wasn't going to let it be like every time before. This time- I was going to continue to try- no matter how hard, I promised myself I would give whatever I could give; whether that was 5 seconds, or 5 hours- every single day I was going to try. Knowing that "He's already made up my difference. He will always love me and my imperfections". 

Yes, I miss days. No, I am not perfect. Just keep trying, The motto from Gordon B. Hinckley that got me through coming home from my mission still gets me through every single day "It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out, don't worry. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with Faith." 

No, I'm not who I once was. But that's okay, cause I am doing my best. I am giving what I can give right here and right now. And that is enough. It doesn't matter if it's as much as I used to give or if it's more- as long it's it's my best for today: it will all work out. Heavenly Father still loves me. 

Yes, I still have miles to go. There are still many valleys to cross, and many mountains to climb. But the view- it will be great and oh so worth every valley I'll cross and every mountain I'll climb. 

It will all work out. 

XOXO, Samantha <3 

My Testimony

Hello Readers!

This week was fast and testimony week for my ward. I wanted to share my testimony so badly, but I just couldn't get my anxiety to calm down enough. (It's been a BAD week for my anxiety.) Instead I came home and made a video to share with you all!

I love you all and hope that you enjoy this simple video of my testimony. Have a great week and don't forget to share your testimony- even if it's just a simple smile to brighten someone's day!

Love, Samantha <3

It's Been A While... I'm Fixing That!

Hello readers!
First off, I am SO terribly sorry about my vacancy.. It's super embarrassing that I went from updating this blog every single Sunday to not updating for approximately SIX months.. again, I apologize..
I am trying to fix that however!

INTRODUCING.... VIDEOS!!! 😊

So there you have it folks! I will be updating our blog with videos as well as typed posts when I can. I hope to hear your feedback! Love you all so much!
Let's get this ball rolling again! I can't wait to learn together and uplift each other. I miss this. So here we go!
~Samantha

{S&J}

What a week! Proud of Him :)

Hello lovelies!

Check it out- I'm actually updating our blog before a month goes by ;)

Today is going to be ALL about Jordan!! (With a few side notes of what I did)
Jordan has had quite the busy week!

1) GRADUATION! My sweetheart is finally graduated from Orem High School! (And Seminary!) He's so cute- he walked through the "O" to receive his diploma, (I had told him to make sure he turned towards us so we could get a picture because we were right up close...) the stinker did his usual fist pumps to the air and then randomly bowed. I started to laugh really hard, and forgot to cheer! (Lame I know.) HE FORGOT TO TURN TOWARDS US! So I had to give him a hard time- he got back to his seat and he looked up at me, and I mouthed "You didn't turn.." Somehow he was sneaky and managed to text me: "Sorry- I panicked.." Then I laughed even more. Such a goof ball ;)

Jordan and our favorite Seminary Teacher: Bro. Evans! 

(Sorry it's blurry) But it's his classic fist pump! Walking through the "O" 

Proud moments! We worked hard to get him here didn't we Jessi?! ;) 

His graduation gift- new Scriptures for his mission and beyond! :) He was SO happy and surprised. (I told him there was no chance of getting new ones cause he already had some..;) Sneaky I am) 

Ps. Graduation= school's out for summer which also means I'm out of a job for 3 months till school starts again and that's only if they (the District) hires me back in the fall... So prayers would be much appreciated for that!! I need this job! And also- I miss my kids SO much already!! :( (Ps. sorry no pics here cause I legally can't share them! Sorry!)

2) TEMPLE!!! Jordan had the amazing opportunity to go through the Payson Utah temple to receive his Initiatory and Endowment! It was such a beautiful day for both of us! I received my endowment just 6 months ago, so I remember really well how amazing it is to go through for yourself to make such sacred covenants with our loving Heavenly Father. And it is just as amazing to go back and do work for those who have passed away.
Having Jordan be able to join me in the temple in the Celestial room and in the sacred ceremony of endowment was such a blessing and I cannot express the love I felt in that room. I was so happy with both Jordan and myself that we had given up the ways of the world, and stuck to what we knew we really wanted so that we could be together in the temple, not only that day but someday in the future to be untied as one. It was amazing! It is definitely a day and experience that we will never forget. It was worth everything we had to "give up" to get there. The ways of Heavenly Father are definitely worth it: with eternal joy and never ending true happiness- even when things are tough. We can't wait to go back and learn more together and be in the temple TOGETHER! :)

Us<3 Now we can go inside together and we understand the importance of our Savior in our relationship on a much deeper level. It was truly beautiful and we are so excited to go again! 

3) DATE NIGHTS: what they used to be- nice dinner, dressing up, going out for dessert, movies, cuddles, shopping sprees, having our own time, long walks, etc.
Date night now: shopping for garments, sharing Frozen Yogurt, hours of scripture & Preach my Gospel studies, Mormon message watching, not spending money anywhere without a coupon/gift card, temple trips, balancing family time, etc. Our date nights now are completely focused on preparing to enter the temple every day of our lives and getting Jordan ready for his mission in Iowa. Sometimes it gets difficult and "old" but when we think about it- there's nothing else we would rather be doing. Helping Jordan prepare for his mission helps me feel like I have a purpose in being home, and also reminds me that The Lord has a plan and that I am a missionary every day. Spending this time with him has strengthened our relationship with each other and most importantly with our Heavenly Father. It is something we will never regret. :)

quick Frozen Yogurt stop for date night ;) 

And a quick run to see the river. We like to walk by the river sometimes and talk about the gospel :) 

4) BOOK OF MORMON CHALLENGE: as you know Jordan and I are reading the Book of Mormon in a short 40 days! (We actually just finished our reading for the day a few minutes ago!) Today was day 14! We are just finishing up Mosiah and will start Alma tomorrow!
I just want to take a moment and say: without Jordan's commitment this would not be happening. We usually have to read first thing in the morning- at 6 am! I'll just say I love my bed in the mornings and hate getting out of bed before I'm ready and I'm never ready before 8... So every morning Jordan wakes up, and calls me on FaceTime until I answer, then when I finally do- no matter how much I try and tell him we can wait 20 minutes, or we can do it later, he never let's me skip without making sure that we will have time to read later in the day. It is very important to him that we sit together to read- to keep each other focused- rather than read over Face Time because we get distracted a lot easier that way. So far we have not missed a day together! He always lovingly comes and gets me carrying me down to our table where we read at his house, gets me a breakfast bar so I feel better (I usually feel sick in the morning till I eat) then he prays with me and we read. He always pauses to ask me questions making sure we are helping each other to learn and draw near to our Father and Savior. I am so blessed to be in love with such a faithful young man. He never falters and always makes sure that our relationship invites the Spirit and we choose God. He is always so amazing at making the gospel our priority. He is the perfect example to me of a worthy and willing Priesthood holder who guides his family toward the Savior.

Well Folks I think that's it! Every time I ask Jordan if there's anything he wants to put on the blog his response is always "I think you know better than me Honey." So if I left anything out, blame him! ;) Nah just kidding.

I know I've already said this- but I just want you all to know how amazing, loving, sweet, respectful, caring, Christlike, and kind my sweetheart is. I truly am so blessed. I can't wait for forever with him!! The next two years can't go by fast enough- but I'm also very thankful for his calling to serve the Lord. Heavenly Father does have a plan and now that I see this is the best thing for both of us and for our relationship I wouldn't want it any other way! (Plus sending missionary packages is SO fun!) :) Well I love you all, we pray for you and we are so thankful for your love and support in our behalf.

Have a great week and don't forget to monkey around a little bit! ;)

That's a wrap!

Love, The two of us, Samantha & Jordan <3

Graduations, Work, Mission & Temple Prep, SO BUSY!

Hey y'all! Samantha here. So Sorry it's taken me this long to sit down and update our blog... As the title of this post sort of describes- April hit, then May.. and it's worse than Christmas season with business. So I will do my very best to fill you in on what's been going with our lives!

Last you heard from us it was April 17.. so it's been about a month and a half! This might be scattered, but I will do my best!

First- Work. Jordan and I both work part-time jobs, and Jordan goes to school full time. Seeing each other is not what it used to be. We have to seriously schedule our time to know when we are even available to go on a date, and let me tell you: our schedules are always opposite! (We think that's Heavenly Father's way to help us prepare for Jordan's mission and to help us focus on serving others.) So at my job, down at the Elementary school, we have been working hard on end of year programs, testing, and fun activities, which means the teachers are exhausted! No matter how crazy it gets those sweet children always brighten our day. They are the cutest.
We just had our end of year program- which was like a mini choir concert- and the theme was "America" (if you know me you know I am in love with that theme- I'm definitely my daddy's girl.) It was so great to see these young kids singing with all their heart and soul about the country they love. It was amazing. I'm so lucky I got to be a part of it!

As far as Jordan's work goes, I just know it's busy and he's working hard! ;)

Next- let's talk about Jordan for a second: the kid is going a million miles an hour and we are all trying to stay caught up with him. All good things though. :)
1) mission! Since that boy started his papers he's been ready to jump out into the mission field and GO! He is stoked to go to Iowa in a few short weeks and preach the Gospel to those people. He has been on the ball with getting things in order to go: shopping, temple prep, Priesthood ordination, Preach my gospel & Book of Mormon studies, visiting family, etc. He's on fire.
2) Jordan went to Seattle to visit his great Grandmother. He loved every minute of it (from what I can tell) He had a blast taking pictures, going on nature walks, playing tennis, hanging out in the hot tub, going to lunch with his family, and most of all talking to his sweet grandma about her life and his. He loved it so much he got emotional. He truly loves his family and understands the importance eternal families.
3) Jordan graduates this THURSDAY!!! So that alone speaks for itself. Graduation season is BUSY and that's an understatement.
4) Temple prep! Jordan goes through the Payson Utah Temple this Saturday to receive his initiatory and endowment. He couldn't be more thrilled about this sacred opportunity with His Father in Heaven.
5) Reading the Book of Mormon! Jordan and I decided that before his mission we wanted to read the Book Of Mormon together... well we decided that with not much time left before he departs so we are reading the whole Book of Mormon in a short 40 DAYS! So far so good. We are on day 9, and have to read 13.5 pages a day to stay on top of our goal. We wake up at 5:45 AM, Jordan showers/gets ready for school and we start reading at about 6:10 AM till 7:25 AM then he's off to school! It is most definitely difficult but it is SO worth it.
6) Jordan got ordained to the office of Elder in the Melchizedek Priesthood. Which means he can now give blessings of healing and comfort, and many other things which I'm sure Jordan could explain much better than myself. But it is a very sacred duty, which power only works if they remain worthy of it.
So as you can see- all good things are going on! He's just running, which means we are too! ;)

Other than all this- we've had weddings of family members, dance concerts, sports events for siblings, car shows, church activities (which I help with a lot), Spring cleaning projects, family dinners, Mother's day, teacher appreciation week, Hope of America, getting new military trucks (for my dad's association), pedicures given by Jordan so I can save money, Prom for my little bro (Jordan was the photographer), temple & kneaders dates, Sunflowers (my favorite), and of course LOTS of Swig (that's a soda shop- but I only get their smoothies or Lemonade)! I'll just include pictures of these events so that you don't just have to read my boring writing! ;) Here you go!

Jordan brings me Sunflowers when I'm sad :) 

Temple Dates! 

My lil bro (Wade) and his prom date!

Our newest military truck! It's a DUKW- it's half boat.

Hope of America- for Abbie :) 

Just one day's worth of Teacher Appreciation week! 

Mother's day gifts for Jordan's mom! (He made it all I just put it together while he was gone)

Swig.. Yes we love it.

Relief Society Activity I decorated for!

The theme was "You are Kneaded"

The take home gift for your missing neighbors!

Back stage manager at my old studio's dance concert. (This is one of my many previous students!) 

Cleaning dad's garage. It was a whole family effort!

First car show of the season! :) 

Our annual sno cones at this particular show! 

Driving to family dinner with Jordan's siblings :) 

Well that's a wrap! We hope you enjoy reading about our adventures! More news to come, and with school ended this Friday, I hope to be writing more! Love you all:)

Love, Samantha & Jordan