Parent to Child Relationships

TIME: our family relationships take TIME.

Today I am going to share some thoughts I had today while I was in a combined meeting at church today. I am going to do this a little differently than I have before. Today I am going to do bullet points and then elaborate on them individually rather than do paragraphs. I am hoping that this way I will be able to more clearly let you see my thoughts and it will be less confusing.

TOPIC: FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS-with focus on Parent to Children

• #1: PARENTS AND CHILDREN: TEAM! Our families are our team. There is so "I" in team. In order to work together and build strong healthy relationships we need to work together. You cannot do this alone, everyone (I repeat) EVERYONE must do their part and be involved. As with any team: if you work hard together, you win together. If even just one person isn't doing their part: the whole thing falls apart: there is no way to win when everyone doesn't do their part and work together.
• #2: PARENTS: Do you ask your children what you can do better as their Mom/Dad? Do they realize that being a family is a TEAM effort? Parents and children need to remember that there was no "guidebook" handed out for being a perfect parent. Raising a family is new to you (as the parent) and you are learning just as the children are learning. As the parent, take time to ask your children what they think you can do better and let them know what they can do better. This will help build trust, and help your children realize that you're not trying to be "over-authoritative" when they are punished, but you are trying to help them learn and grow too. Explain that you are trying to learn as you go because you as a parent have never done this before so you will make mistakes too.  
• #3: CHILDREN: remember your parents love you with all their hearts. They need you to come to them with problems because no matter what you think: your parents cannot read your mind. Learn to trust your parents. They are not the "bad guy." Remember they are learning and will make mistakes: be willing to forgive them. Your parents are your biggest fans and they want to be there: let them. 
• #4: PARENTS AND CHILDREN: Are you really listening? Children, when your parents are trying to teach you, listen to them. They really do know what they are talking about: trust them. Parents, when your children come to talk to you, do you listen? Do you realize how valuable that moment is? When your children come to you: you need to learn to drop what you are doing and listen. I understand that there is a lot to be done and there is never enough time to get it all done, but do all those things really matter when your child comes to you willing to talk? That is a precious moment and I plead with you to take advantage of that. Put the electronics down, turn off the TV, ignore the ringing cell phone: your child needs you right now. Listen. Give them your complete and full attention. (This will also teach them to listen to you.) And listen completely before trying to answer their questions and help them. And Fathers especially: look at your child as a person to be loved, never a problem to be solved. 
• #5: PARENTS: Hold meetings with your children. I know this sounds silly, but do it! Try for at least once a month, or more if you feel you can do it and need it. This will build trust in both parent and child. This will help you learn to talk more openly, and more willingly with one another. This will give you an opportunity as a parent to ask your child about school, friends, dating (if they are of age), worries, fears, problems, stresses, projects, extra-curricular activities, wants, needs, dreams, hopes, etc. This will help you to understand your child individually and your child will be able to understand you too. Now don't make this a burden for your children. Make it something they look forward too. Let it be an enjoyable and a trust building time. Do not over react when your child opens up to you and tells you something that may be upsetting. This is their time to talk to you: let them talk and really listen. Help them reach a solution. Never get angry and yell as this will cause your child to not open up to you, and not trust you with "secrets" of theirs.
• #6: PARENTS AND CHILDREN: What is your priority and how are you letting others know what it is? What do you care most about? Hobbies? Work? Extended family? Friends? Social Life? Church Callings? Or do you care most about the eternal salvation of your own family and the relationships you hold there? Brothers and Sisters I beg you to evaluate your own life and see where your priories lie. Do they lie in the cares of the world? Or do they lie within the bonds of your own home and the gospel? I plead that if you see your life is over-run with things of the world and you are in need of some "Priority" family time, to make that change as quickly as you can in your life. There is no other relationship that is of more value than that of the bonds within your own home. Where do your priorities lay and do your family and friends know where they lay so they can respect them and help you strengthen them?
• #7: PARENTS AND CHILDREN: How do others around you know what is most important to you? If you say your family is the most important thing in your life, but you spend all your time with your friends and you are never spending time with your family, or you only spend time with your family after much arguing and you are only doing so grudgingly: Is your family really your priority? Or if you come home from work or school and then you spend all your time on your phone, laptop, or gaming devices and you ignore everything around you; is your family really your priority? How are you showing others what's of most value to you?
• #8: PARENTS AND CHILDREN: "Mother, Father: Are you there? Grandma, Grandpa: are You there?" Children, are you letting them be there? To sum this up: watch this sweet video entitled: Parenting: Touching The Hearts of Our Youth from Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles. 

I just want to say that I know this church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, is true. I know it. I know that families are the most important thing in our church, of which The Plan Of Happiness is based off of. I know that these things which I have shared today are true and if we apply them in our lives we will be able to have stronger relationships within our families: relationships that Satan can never tear apart. Home will become our Heaven and our harbor from the storm. I know it. 

In Jesus Christ Glorious Name, 

Amen

Love,

Samantha