Our Mission Stories : Hard Times Laced With Tender Mercies

These are my Tender Mercies. I believe this picture describes how I felt this week, and the past few weeks, as I push through challenges with Him by my side.

What a week. I feel like it's been ages since I've written to all of you! This week has been full of lots of learning! So let's get started!

Monday- I was supposed to go to the temple- but I woke up with chest pain, a really bad head ache, and I was dizzy. I recall being dizzy all night and having difficulty sleeping as well. I got some medicine, talked to my mom and we decided that it was time to go to the doctor again.
Later that day, I went to the doctor, not sure what would happen. Well turns out they wanted to take my blood so they could run tests and see if there was anything wrong there- because if there were abnormal levels they would find it there. I thought "oh yeah, a finger prick. I can handle that..." yeah they needed to draw blood, 4 viles worth.. Let's just say I had a really bad experience the last time my blood was taken so I was not happy at all about this. As soon as the doctor went to get the nurse to help, I started crying. I was not about to have a panic attack in the doctor's office so I said a prayer. "Heavenly Father please help me do this". It was as simple as that- but I knew I needed His help. Soon they were drawing my blood and it hurt bad, I was crying my eyes out, and I don't bleed easy so it felt like hours, but I knew it was okay. The nurses sweet encouraging words and my mom's soft stroking on my arm calmed me down enough that they got the blood. As soon as I felt better we were able to leave and now it was the waiting game. 5-7 days before we would know anything.

Tuesday- I was able to go to my new job! I was able to clean and have time to myself to think while cleaning. My sweet boss/aunt decided she would buy lunch for the office that day- and guess what?! They chose one of my favorite places EVER: Kneaders!!! And she said I could have a peach smoothie which is pretty much Heaven to me. It was soo sweet of her. And I felt good that day. I had finally got something accomplished!

Wednesday- I'm pretty sure I stayed home and spent time with mom! Which is always awesome because I love being with my mom and working and shopping with her.
Also 2 of my friends entered the MTC and started their missions! I'm so proud of them!

Thursday- Mom and I went to the store and got stuff for my room (which- if you remember- we are remodeling!) We were going to paint the ceiling and closet white today... but then the water line had other plans for us. Mom and I were getting ready to paint, I would be in the closet so I got down on my hands and knees to check things out and make sure we didn't miss any holes that might need patching, when I noticed some weird discoloring. I asked my mom if it looked like water damage. She came and looked with me, feeling the sheet rock, noticing it felt a little soft. Mom decided we needed to rip up the carpet, so we did and found the padding under the carpet was holding moisture! Right as I looked up, to the main pipe, I saw it drip water. I told my mom and she felt it: it was wet. Thinking maybe it wasn't shut off all the way we decided that we would turn it so it'd be tighter: except for that made the tiny drip a constant stream! So I ran up the stairs and got little bowls so we could catch the water. I started calling my grandpa and my uncle- who are plumbers. We got them to help us figure it out and we got it to stop. We had to rip the sheet rock out and dry out water but we fixed it! All I can say is even though it didn't go exactly as we had planned and now we had more to fix, I'm soooo glad we found it when we did so that it didn't cause more problems down the road. It was definitely a tender mercy! (and a good learning experience!)

Friday- I was able to go out on a date with my best friend! And while I was out my mom and sister painted the ceiling and closet of my room. It was so sweet of them to do that for me! Also, I got a call from the doctor's office: everything was normal!!! Which was a HUGE blessing! Now the doctor (not to mention my family and I) knew nothing was seriously wrong: we just have to figure out how to tackle this head ache!

Saturday: I had the opportunity to watch my younger brother play in his basketball game- which they won! I love watching my siblings do what they love. It makes me so happy and I know it means something to them that I am there. I used to be the one they went to watch perform back when I danced.
Also, we did A LOT of work on my new room!! My best friend came to help which made it that much more enjoyable! We moved out my huge desk, ripped out carpet, and painted walls, which doesn't sound like a lot to those of you who haven't done that, but if you have done it you know it was a lot! But it was an awesome experience to watch my Best friend watch my dad and learn from him. I loved working side by side with my parents, siblings and best friend. We learned a lot together.

Sunday- I was able to go to church and feel the Spirit. I love Sundays!! We had a guest teacher today in our 3rd hour meeting: Sylvia Allan. She teaches about scripture study. I remember way back when I was beehive, about 6 years ago, she came and taught all the youth in a youth activity about how we can better study the scriptures and come closer the Savior. I did not want to go to that activity, but I am so thankful I did because she changed my life. That night I remember taking notes, that I still have in my scriptures, notes that changed my life, and helped instill in me the love I have for reading the scriptures. Well today I needed that lesson again.
Since returning home I have felt I didn't need to study my scriptures anymore. I was sort of mad about reading them. I had done everything right: I had prepared, I had studied, I had repented, I had given everything up to go on a mission, and I came home after just five days. Why would I need to study my scriptures now? Last time I did that I just "failed." THIS IS NOT TRUE. and I know that now. My sweet mom and best friend encouraged me every day to read my scriptures. "You need them" they would tell me. "You love them." Well I would read them, but only to say I did, and it was only 1-5 verses. This was not enough.
Heavenly Father really knows how to set things up. Over the past few days I have felt different. I have wanted something more. Now, I know I wanted my scriptures, I wanted to feast on them and learn from on high. The past few days my best friend has been bringing up spiritual conversations. He would ask my view on different gospel topics, and he would share his view and he'd share his testimony. I felt different during these conversations and I wanted them more. I just wanted to sit and talk forever and learn with him about these things.
Then today Sylvia came and taught me again. I can have those learning experiences every single day, just me and my Heavenly Father. Every single day He is waiting for me to come to my personal "appointment" with Him; and I need to show up. I need to give Him my best hour and make that time for Him, so I can hear and be taught what He needs me to know that day. If I don't show up, I won't learn that day and I won't be any better than I was the day before. I need to meet those "appointments" and really be present not just "go" to say I went.
My life was changed today. I am happier right now. I was unhappy all because of one simple mistake- I decided I didn't need the scriptures anymore. EVERYONE! YOU NEED THE SCRIPTURES!!! Not one single person is the exception to this. You need Him, and He needs you. I promise you this. Don't miss your daily appointment to learn with The Savior. Your life will change I promise you that, and you will love that change.

I know on this blog I am sharing the good things that happened to me during the week, but let me reassure you: that does NOT mean my weak was easy: it was not. Every single day I have to wake up and decide to face the world. That alone is a challenge. I have to focus on others or else I start to think things that aren't true about myself. Serving others and learning to be truly selfless is the only way I can figure out how to be happy. (and it makes them happy too so it's a win win!) Then I have to decide to be happy, and some days that is the hardest thing I do during the day, is choose happiness and keep it. Satan is trying SO stinking hard right now to get me down, to get me depressed, to get me to feel sorry for myself, to get me to focus on problems, etc. He wants me to quit. I, however, do not want to quit, and nor will I. This does not mean I am going back to the mission field, so please stop assuming I am. The Lord sent me home for a reason: so I'm here and I trust Him and I know this is where I am to be- but that doesn't mean I'm not a missionary at home: I am. I still have desires to serve and trust me I am figuring out more every day how to do that at HOME. Just because I'm not on a full time mission does not mean I am any less than someone who is. And it most certainly does not mean that I am loved less or than I love Him less than others who are on a full time mission. So please do not ever assume that about me or others who aren't out serving.
Every day I have to choose. Things that I didn't think would be that big of a deal, but now they are. But I keep choosing HIM. And I beg you to keep choosing HIM with me. Every second of every minute of every day of every week of every month of every year that turns into our life we make choices, and you will have to answer someday, as will I, Did I make the right choices? Did I do the BEST I could do? There is always good, there is always better, and there is always YOUR best. No one else's best: just YOUR best. And that's all The Lord asks of you: is YOUR best, not your neighbors, your brothers, your sisters, your friends, just YOURS. That's all He cares about, and if you give Him that, you will stand blameless before Him at the last day and He will say "Well done my good and faithful servant. I love you. Welcome home."

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Love,
Samantha

Here is Sylvia Allan's blog if you want to read her story and her scripture lessons!
answersinthescriptures.blogspot.com

Pictures from the week!