Come Listen To A Prophet's Voice

When the Prophet speaks, it is as if The Lord spoke it Himself. 

Brothers and Sisters, 

Today I wanted to share with you a short message about Receiving Personal Revelation. Since returning home from my short LDS mission, I have felt very lost and confused as to what the Lord wants me to be doing at home. Being at home has not been an easy feat by any means and there are nights I wish I was still out having panic attacks on the mission- because then maybe people would still be proud of me, maybe then people wouldn't treat me as if I was a poisonous disease. Without the help of my ward leaders, and my amazing family I do not know what I would have done during these few months of being home. Sure, people have tried to reach out to me; only to find out they wanted to hear my story, all they wanted was to be my "friend" to hear the reason I'm home, then they didn't seem to care as much. So I quit talking about it. I didn't want to ever speak about my mission again. I wanted to pretend it didn't happen. I wanted to just "go away" and maybe people would realize I was still the Samantha they knew before my mission, I had just been made aware of some health problems that needed my careful attention. That didn't mean I was a bad influence now, it doesn't mean I can't get past this trial someday, it doesn't mean I want others to come home early from their mission, and it doesn't mean I don't want others to do serve a mission, etc. If only I could get people to understand that I still have a desire to serve the Lord, just not in that particular way. I did the mission He asked me to do, and now He has guided me back home for a reason I do not yet know. But here I am, trying to follow Him but really struggling to know what to do. 

Before my mission studying my scriptures, praying, sharing my testimony, serving others, etc. all came very naturally: and I knew where I was going. I was going on a mission. As soon as I realized I was being sent home, I was lost. I knew nothing would ever be the same. I knew that my life was different now and things were about to be even harder. I wanted to crawl into a rock and hide forever. Even now, some nights, I feel that same feeling I had that day in the MTC as I called my parents with my mission president and told them it was time for me to come home. 

Now the desire to study, the desire to serve, the desire to be the Lord's servant is still there, however it doesn't come as it did before my mission. It is more difficult, and I feel I don't have direction so the things I try to do to make a difference don't mean anything because I don't know where I am going. 

Since I've been home, I have prayed earnestly with many tears, & much want and desire to know: "Father, I am lost. I don't know what to do now. I feel like a failure. I feel like there's something you want me to do: but I don't know what it is. Please help me. I can't do this alone." Every day and night I gave this prayer, and every day and night I still wait for an answer. 

At different times I felt that maybe my answer was to become a temple worker, or to start a Youth Church Service Mission. However to this point I have not decided what the best option is for me, and what The Lord has in store for me. I have continued to pray and I'm still learning and listening.  

With this weekend being conference, I have hoped and prayed for an answer or at least a direction to go. I have been praying that I could listen with the Spirit of the Lord and I would hear what He needs me to know today. 

Prayerfully and carefully I have listened, and taken note. 

As I listened with intent to learn and grow and seek answers, The Lord has truly spoken to me. This weekend of Conference has brought me to tears. I know I am not lost, the Lord knows exactly where I am, what I need and where He needs me to go. He will rescue me if I will reach out to Him and follow Him. He will put me on His shoulders and carry me back home to our Father. I am not alone and even though my mission is not what I thought it would be, I am still a Child Of God and He still loves me more than I know. 

I want to invite you, to listen to the voice of the Lord's chosen Prophet and Apostles. They speak the words of God as if it was God Himself teaching us. They love us as our Father does. I know they care and they bring with them the messages that The Lord needs us to hear today. And all of us can and will receive revelation if we are willing to listen with an open heart, listen with the Spirit and ask The Lord to speak to you. He will. He loves you. But you must be truly listening with intent to learn and know for yourself; not with the intent to discredit the words spoken. 

I know Heavenly Father loves us more than we know. He will guide us, and He does hear our prayers and will answer us. What we desire, with out intent to come closer to Him, He will show us. We will not be left alone, and while it takes time for us to see and find answers: we must never give up and hold fast to the knowledge and faith we DO have. And always remember that He loves us. 

In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen 

Love, Samantha 

To watch conference: click here